So not surprisingly - with a name like Seth Kleinman I had little choice but to become a lawyer. But seriously, though, I've learned a lot being a lawyer. A few months ago I was over in Court waiting for something and in the conference room where I was waiting there was a Time Magazine and the main article was about how parents are biologically predisposed to having a favorite child. That’s right – parents are biologically predisposed to having a favorite child. We can’t help it. We can say we love all our kids the same but science tells us we'll have a favorite. And it got me thinking “Yeah, that's right!. I was never my mother’s favorite.” Which is particularly fucked up seeing how I'm an only child.
As an only child I had to play with myself a lot. No - not that way you perverts. I mean I had a pretty active imagination. And being adopted I used to imagine that my parents paid a lot of money for me. But then I would remember - my dad's a fucking Jew . . . of course he didn't pay a lot of money for me. Hell - he wouldn't even shell out the cash for a good Chinese knockoff. He went to Vietnam to get me - the knockoff of a knockoff. If I were a watch they wouldn't sell me on the street outside of Tiffany's; they'd sell me on the street outside of Jimmy's Pawn Shop.
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