Jesus Had an Oedipus Complex

Did you know Jesus had an Oedipus Complex? I mean, whose cock was the first inside Mary?

Dry Heat

My friends who live in the desert all say "Oh but it's okay. It's a dry heat." And I think "yeah, that's exactly what the Nazis told my ancestors."

Volunteering at School

[To be done after the audience knows I have kids] So over the winter I thought that it would be nice to do some volunteer work at the neighborhood school. Problem is, my kids are homeschooled, so basically I was just some creepy guy walking around the school's hallways.